Softscaffold · M3 Drill Card

From mentor AQs (Anup) on Alberto · stakeholder / Amin · 27/37 · near PCC

No default WHY 3.2 success measure Feelings Close 8.x Invite · lens
Keep from M3: who-work, curiosity, silence, client agency, almost no Why.
Add for Y: session success measure · emotion · situation lens · close learning/use/accountability.
Session rules (post-M3)
  1. Open: outcome + “How will you know this session was useful?” (3.2).
  2. Why-count ≤ 1 (aim zero) — What / Who / How only.
  3. One question · no stacking · no justifying the question.
  4. Feeling rises → support + explore feeling before strategy (4.3 · 6.3).
  5. After insight → silence ≥ 5s before next stem.
  6. Close: who-learning + what-learning + how you’ll use it (8.2–8.4).

8 partnering stems (use when…)

1Session open / long context dump

Re-asking “what’s the topic?” while still unloading · multi-part coach wrap

What would you like to accomplish in this session…?
How will you know this session was useful for you…?
Session agreement · 3.1 · 3.2
2Strategic framing / advocacy lens

Coach-wrapped seeking that loses the concern under the plan

When you say you want to communicate more strategic things… what is the concern you are seeing…?
What might you be inferring that makes this hard to act on meaningfully…?
Assumption & lens · Anup AQ
3Underutilized labs / known challenge

Only predicting Amin’s line without client’s own view

You seem aware those labs are underutilized and may be questioned — what are you trying to address with that awareness…?
What is your view of the labs and investment — even before someone questions it…?
Partnering + lens
4Anger / who is hearing (***** zone)

Over-complex wording · skip the feeling · only jump to strategy

Who is this Alberto who already knows the labs’ underutilized state — what is his view before anyone questions it…?
I’m with you — what is that anger as you sit with it…?
What label lands on you when that statement is made…?
Who-work + feeling presence · simplify
5Past self vs present / “he hasn’t changed”

Leading reconnection of threads for the client

I’d like to invite you to take a moment with what you said at the beginning…
As you reflect on how you have changed, what are you learning about yourself…?
How might that learning impact you in meetings ahead…?
Invite · don’t lead
6Identity label without simple curiosity

Coach-imaginative multi-step noticing that needs justification

You know you won’t let the anger run the room — what learning lets you be the person you want to be with people like this…?
What are you learning about yourself as that label is here…?
Who + learning · simple curiosity
7Action emerging (1:1 / mentorship / meeting)

Advice-as-question (“Why don’t you meet him…?”)

How would you like to approach that conversation…?
What support or barriers matter as you move…?
How do you want to hold yourself accountable…?
Close growth · 8.5–8.7
8Last 3–5 minutes

Only vibe/takeaway without who/what learning

What are you learning about yourself in this session…?
What are you learning about the situation…?
How will you use that…?
How would you like to complete this session…?
Close · 8.2 · 8.3 · 8.4 · 8.9

After the stem

  1. Silence (Reflective Silence).
  2. Urge to connect two threads for them → invite them to reflect instead.
  3. A simple curious question never needs justification.

Self-reg red flag (from your M3)

Multi-part “I’m connecting these two points…” or close advice-as-question. Replace with one open stem + silence.